Many years ago, I was consumed in a relationship with the love of my life. We had found each other once again after parting ways in high school. I was overwhelmed and overjoyed and thought my life was a fairy tale.
That fairy tale ended quite abruptly (for me) and I spent years searching to fill that void, longing for some sort of understanding so I could continue on and find that surreal happiness again in my life.
I felt crushed, confused, and most of all that I was the one lacking. I'm certain others have been in this spot at some point, and maybe are in it now. I am a person who believes in signs and that everything happens for a reason. Though it was a long and difficult passage leaving scars that may never heal, it was a path I had to travel. And, I feel myself lucky to have been given the opportunity to travel it and find pieces of myself along the way.
It was only recently, after many MANY many hardships were endured, I realized my priorities and visions were far out of whack. I was relying on one person to carve out the rest of my life, mold my thoughts of how to live life to the fullest, offer me exciting adventures and ideas for the future. Don't get me wrong, I miss him, I miss him very much. He was the closest thing I had to a best friend. We got each other, we had conversations (which is a feat for me), we shared similar bonds, interests, feelings...and that's not easy to come by.
I feel a void, but that is a void I will never fill again. I understand this, and I also understand that it is a void that isn't meant to be filled. It doesn't need to be. He has long moved on, married and most certainly happy. I desired that for him all along. He is still with me, in my heart...swimming around. He floats to the surface from time to time, and that's okay. Because you know what? It only helps me press on and not look back.
I appreciate what he gave me in my life, but the time is overdue to create my own life filled with people who don't walk away.
*Spoiler Alert* Every little thing...is gonna be alright. (To be continued)
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