More Than Words

A few days ago was Valentine's Day. To me, this day is like any other day. I feel that too many holidays have become commercialized. Valentine's Day should not be recognized ONE day each year. Just as you should celebrate your birth and life every day of the year, I believe you should celebrate love, happiness, friendship, family, peace and growth EVERY day of the year. This should be what you are grateful for, what you are thankful for, and what you strive to keep close to your heart every day of the year.

Let me lay out a couple scenes for you:
On Valentine's Day, I scrolled through Facebook and was a bit saddened by many of the posts I saw. People flashing flowers and gifts on the screen, remarking how their 'significant other was the best and they love them so much BECAUSE they got them such and such'.
I was in the grocery store yesterday, and overheard a child asking her mother if she could have a candy bar. The mother gave in and said yes. The daughter was so overjoyed as she said (and I quote), 'Oh Mom, you're the best. Thank you so much. I love you so much.'

I know maybe I'm nit-picking. I know these people most likely love the others in their lives for many more reasons than 'because they got this for me'. But, as a society I have seen this so much, and it just eats away at me.

I do not measure the worth of my relationships with those in my life because of what they can provide for me. I measure it by how they make me feel, how they make me think, and if they are actually there to help the sunshine remain in my life or if they are there to try to suck every last breath from me.
I would like to jump back a bit, to a post I created in reference to someone who is no longer in my life. I had mentioned that everything happens for a reason, and everything...was going to be alright.

Reading along in my recent posts, I have mentioned Tim. Tim and I met not long after my break up that shook my core. When we first got together we had an amazing and fun chemistry. We laughed together, spent as much time together as we could, and had the normal honeymoon style relationship most people encounter. But I was still stuck in phase one trying to crawl out from under the spell my previous boyfriend had on me, and it wasn't remotely fair to Tim to try to build a relationship from that. Over the next couple years we tried off and on to reproach that spark with a new outlook. Inevitably it always came back too hard for me because I wasn't allowing myself to be ready.
Tim and I continued our friendship, sharing struggles, laughs, memories, hardships, loves and losses. He looked to me and I looked to him. Essentially we were living the life of a couple, without being a couple. That got me through the next couple years.
Why did he stick with it? He must have sensed what I realize now. It was just meant to be, gosh darn it. Stop sticking your feet in the muck and go with it!
So you may ask what made the light bulb go off for me? I don't think it was any one 'a-ha!' moment. When I allowed myself to step back and breath for a moment, concentrate on me, my direction, my life, my world, I realized that he was in it. He was playing a very vibrant part in my play and he fit. He had a way of playing numerous characters depending on what situation I threw at him, and what's more, he accepted the challenge every time. Every...time.
So when you ask me what I think makes a relationship, it's not whether he remembers to buy me flowers, it's that he remembers I would prefer flowers over jewelry any day. It's not whether he can afford to take me to some exotic island, it's that he remembers that a simple walk in the woods helps rejuvenate my spirit more than any drug could try. It's not whether he tells me he loves me, it's that I know without him telling me.
We have a relationship that is NOT a fairy tale. It's real, it's raw, it's happy, it's painful, it's ridiculous, it's memorable, it's cloudy, it's confusing, it's exactly as it should be.

It's more than words. It's what completes my soul and balances my existence.